QFBA Rag – 2007-8 Week Seventeen

New Leader

The Good Cap’n has pretty much OWNED the top spot for the last several weeks but Bus finally put himself in the drivers’ seat with a 186 to 168 win over the PowerHeads. The Cap put up his lowest score in nine – count em – nine weeks. Still, with all of his players in on Tuesday and an 82 point lead, he liked his chances with two players to go for Bus. Then Bosh powered in for 52 to Wade in his wake at 48 and it was lights out for the Good Cap’n.

I know Bus has meticulously analyzed the remainder of the season and likes his chances to hold on to the lead - I know because he has said so – repeatedly. However, consider that Cap’n Parrotdead outscored Incubus in 13 out of 17 weeks. Even Bus has to admit he was lucky to catch the Cap in one of the 4 weeks this season that he could have won. I can’t wait for the “What the?” message this will inspire from ‘Bus.

Gals Get No. Two!

J-Dub AKA Coach Duber Guber told me he stopped reading the QFBA Rag after Week Three. Good, let’s slam the bastard!

The SeaGals have to feel pretty good after Chef ‘Bus Ramsey featured their team on his Food Network show “Locker Room Disasters” and put their locker room in order by helping them adjust their roster. They nearly pulled off the upset of the century last week and this week clobbered the Chief Guber Scuper.

I’ve said all along, Cher deserves a lot of credit for at least trying to get her team competitive week after week. I can’t say the same for Coach Guber, who has had the pieces to contend for a playoff spot but has brought all new meaning to the word ineptitude. He has to be the leading contender for the Mr. Emtee trophy this year for having more empty slots than anyone, perhaps in the history of the league – and that include those Turner losers who quit mid-season a couple of years ago, just because my wife called them silver-spooned nincompoops.

Well deserved win for the Gals and well deserved loss for Dubers. I’m pulling for the Gals to overtake the Dubers before the season is over. I can hear the chants now: Go Gals!! Go Gals!! We’re Number Nine! We’re Number Nine!

Blockbuster Trade Works for Clutch

Clutch told this reporter that he made the big trade with Bus recently in a last ditch effort to make the playoffs. I don’t know if it was too late for Clutch but we always like to see effort rewarded here at the QFBA (think Duber). Whether or not it’s enough in the long run, it was enough to beat another playoff contender in the didi’s.

New Clutch the Tittie player Randolph beat his opponent like it was his wife, putting up 38 for his new team. Add Carter’s 51 to that and a couple more guys in the thirties and the Incubus Farm club drops the didi’s like doo-doo, 184 to 168.

Right now Clutch is three games out of the last playoff spot and faces the hungry Frontrunners next week. As it stands, Clutch is going to need a streak and some help to make the playoffs. If they don’t get past the ‘Runners next week, I’d say it’s all over but the singing of “The Night They Drove Ol’ Dixie Down”.

As for the didi’s, they face a pissed off Cap’n next week and still must get past Incubus and the Cruisers before it’s all done for them. I have to think their hold on the last playoff spot is tenuous at best. Then again, Coach Dave has managed to hang in week after week when I thought they were overdue for a letdown. Will coaching be enough? We shall see.

Cruisers Drop Nickers

The Chief has been living on borrowed time for a while now and this week the Cruisers finally gave him the beating he’s so richly deserved for so long. I know the Cruisers were unhappy about dropping a close one to the Luser Duber last week, even though they pull up the QFBA bottom. Hey, kiddo, what did you expect? Your going to have to do better than this week’s 158 to keep moving forward.

The Chief has managed to win six of his last nine despite scores in the 150’s down to 109 and his highest score in nine weeks of 171. It can’t be clean living so it was bound to catch up. He benefits from a weak schedule the rest of the way, with the Parrotdeads being the only winning team left for the Redneck.

The win for the FJ’s keeps them within a game of the final playoff spot with Incubus still to go and a showdown with the didi’s in the final week of the season. That one just may be for all the marbles. The drama builds!

Runners Step on Bugz

Honest to God, if I hear “I can’t improve my team because my guys are all on the no-cut list.” one more time... If your players are on the no-cut list, they must have some trade value, yes? In Coach S’s defense, she does seem to have a lot of talent on paper. I’m not sure why they haven’t pulled it together enough to be better than 7-10 at this point. Let’s see; Kidd has been a disappointment, though he may like his new surroundings better now. Nowitzki has not been the same stud he’s been in years past, though again; the addition of Kidd to the Mavs may help him a bit.

Whatever, it wasn’t going to matter much this week when the revved up Runners put up the weekly high at 213. If it’s hard to understand how the Bugz wound up a 7-10, it’s impossible to understand how the Runners wound up at 8-9 at this point.

I don’t mind saying this team scares me more than anyone else in the league. After all, they’ve beaten me twice, something NO one else has managed and only two other teams have managed to do ONCE! Unfortunately, I get to face them yet again in two weeks. Aside from Cap’n Parrotdead, the only other team likely to challenge them in a run to the playoffs is Incubus in Week 22. Cap’n Parrotdead loves the scenario of Runners knocking off the Bus and handing the first seed to the Good Cap in Week 22.

Take That Duber
Those who fail to read the QFBA Rag pay a steep price. You’ll be begging to walk the Cap’s plank by the time I get done with ye! Next week, I start on yer momma...

QFBA Rag – 2007-8 Week Sixteen

Rarified Air

Judging by the volume of email traffic, the game of the week was the first vs. last matchup between the Powerhouse Parrotdeads and the GoGoGals. Through some outside kibitzing, (or so it’s been claimed) Cher managed a wise free agent pickup of former Ute Andre Miller and former Jailblazer Rasheed Wallace.

I don’t mind saying that the Good Cap’n was against the ropes when Wednesday found him down by seven with Boozer and Crawford still to go for their respective teams. Think 1992 Nuggets vs Sonics. Think 2007 Warriors vs Mavericks. Think 1980 USA hockey... okay maybe that’s reaching.

Crawford played first in the early game and brought home a whopping 41 points for the Gals, meaning the Cap needed 48 from Boozer just to tie. It didn’t look too promising considering that Boozer’s numbers have dipped lately thanks to the more balanced team game the Jazz have been playing since the first of the year.

As they say, though, great players come through in big games and Boozer proved the adage by posting his first career triple-double. The Gals wind up tied with the Cap for the 2nd highest score of the week and off to overtime. The second go was the non-story this matchup should have been all along.

Congrats to the Gals for keeping all of us entertained. If this lineup stays healthy, you may get a few more wins before it’s all said and done. Maybe it will be someone else’s heart to break next time.

Dubers Drop Cruisers

There may be nothing left for the Dubers to do but play spoiler now and they certainly did that this week. Cruisers were hoping to move into the final playoff spot this week with a win but Dubers had other plans.

Playing with only four players, J-Dub’s boys showed they still have some firepower left even with J. O’Neal on the bench. The FJ’s might have survived sub par performances from virtually everyone if Wilcox had at least managed to show up. Coach April would have liked this one but at 8-8, all is not lost. She’s but a game back of Super Dave and has the tie breaker with six weeks left. Still a lot of round ball to be played before this is settled.

Chief Lucks into Another

Just call them Hayduke’s Hardluck kids. Down thirteen with G. Wallace to go, it should have been a cakewalk for the Runners to hand Rednicks the loss they’ve had coming for weeks. Wallace waited until Monday, when lineups were set to decide he was hurt or coach Hayduke might have had Ginobili and his 57 in the game. Ouch, that one hurts. I’m not sure whoI’d rather not be in the Runners locker room; Wallace or the training staff.

Runners are now two games out of the playoffs with an easy tiebreaker if they can just make up some ground in the last six weeks. As for the Chief, his luck has got to run out soon. Maybe it will come next week against the hungry Cruisers.

Jitz Squander Another Chance to Move Up

I guess Coach Sisti is getting tired of hearing this reporter tell him he’s stayed in the playoff hunt through smoke and mirrors and maybe some good coaching. He responded in Week sixteen by posting the weekly high score behind sold performances across the board. This is what teamwork is all about.

The poor Jitz had a decent, if not spectacular, outing this week, which is starting to look like the story of this team of aging veterans. Do they have enough gas left to make a playoff push? They’re going to have to be better than “decent” if that’s going to happen, you can count on that.

Clutch Falls in Game of Weak

Speaking of skating by on his looks, that Bus must be one handsome devil ‘cause he sure ain’t winning on merit. Only three teams did worse than he did this week and, of course, he was playing one of those three teams. (Haven’t we heard this one before?) Even so, had this been a fair five-on-five fight, he’d have dropped like a glass-jawed boxer.

I know I’m going to hear how unfair I was to the poor Bus yet again this week but gees Louise; he has caught some breaks lately. I’m not sure who looks more desperate right now with the big trade between these two teams but obviously Bus knows he’s got to do something different if he’s going to get past the Good Cap next week.

As for Clutch, I think he knows he’s grasping at straws at this point but he told this reporter that he’s throwing everything he’s got into a playoff push. Good luck, Tobias, you’ll need it.

QFBA Rag – 2007-8 Week Fifteen

That’s What Pirates Do – Duh!

No, Cap’n Parrotdead doesn’t feel bad about taking advantage of rookie Dubers coach in the trade for James. Coach J-Dub was frustrated early on that James had his best games when they didn’t count in the QFBA, so the wily Cap seized the opportunity. Had Cap’n not benched the slumping Johnson this week, he’d still have won even without the James for Gasol trade.

With Gasol on the Dubers team, they aren’t exactly left with a bunch of scrubs. They still have the likes of Maggette, Butler and Iguodala, so the Duber should have at least been in the fray for the fourth playoff spot. Unfortunately, the rookie coach squandered chance after chance to win by leaving his best players on the bench even when starting spots were empty. Cheer up, Dubber, there’s always next season, when you’ll be not only older, but hopefully wiser.

As for the Powerheads, another win, another weekly high score, stretching their tiebreaking point total lead to nearly 200 points... yawn. With the ‘Gals up next week, Incubus’ hopes for a Parrotdead loss to leave him sole possession of 1st place will have to wait at least one more week. The regular season title may well come down to the Powerheads VS Incubus matchup in Week Seventeen.

Cruisers Run to Playoffs

With seven weeks left, things are really heating up in the QFBA. The Cruisers win this week combined with the didi’s loss moves them into the fourth and final playoff spot. It was a hard fought win that took until Friday to decide.

With Garnett on the bench against a surging Runners team, things looked bleak for the FJ’s going into Week Fifteen. Then Chris Paul’s 17 and Lewis' 21 offset good performances from the rest of the Fronters and they suddenly looked like easy pickins, until the FJ’s Brad Miller cut his thumb doing dishes (?). Cap‘n would sure like to know the real story on that one.

Anyway, early in the week it’s looking like fortunes may have turned and the Runners have dodged a bullet. But as they say, it’s not over until it’s over. On Friday, Miller comes back needing only six points for the Cruiser’s to win and lays down 26, while helping the Kings stop the Jazz win streak at ten. Game, set, match!

didi’s Drop Winnable Game to The Chief

When Bryant scores a season low 23 and Pierce comes in at 25, the Rednicks should be ripe to drop their second game in a row. Unfortunately for Coach Sisti, his team failed to take advantage of the vulnerable Redneck’s and dropped a 159-149 heartbreaker. Nash managed only 22 and no one scored more than 34 for the didi’s, paving the way for a painful loss.

Last week the fourth and final playoff spot belonged to the didi’s alone. This week they share that spot with the FJ’s, who hold the all important tie-breaker, while four teams are separated by only a game in the chase for the last playoff spot. It looks like it’s going to be a slugfest for the playoffs all the way to Week 22.

Things don’t get any easier for the Chief next week as he faces the hungry Runners. He’s going to have to post better numbers than he has in at least the last five weeks if he hopes to win this one.

Speaking of That Last Playoff Spot

It was a terrible week for the Jitterz. They could have moved into a tie for the highly contested final playoff spot by sending the ‘Bus into a ditch but they choked when the big opportunity presented itself. The Bugz suffered from poor performances by Martin, West and Billups while only one player managed to break the 30 point barrier for Coach S. All is not lost for the Roaches, however, as they can climb into at least a tie for the fourth spot with a win next week over the didi’s.

On the flip side, Incubus got 40 from a finally healthy McGrady but still managed a very middle-of-the-road 158 while continue his winning ways. ‘Bus freely admits he’s been lucky to get so many wins of late with his sagging number but counters that he’s been very unlucky this season in the injury department. I suppose he has a point on both counts.

Redd Saves Farm Team from Gals

Boy, the Crutch City boys just keep me in a quandary. Every time I’m ready to write their season off, they find a desperately needed Dubya. I truly didn’t expect Redd to play this week and was all ready to congratulate the Gals on their second win until the Redd Ranger rode into town and crushed their hopes.

I guess it’s a natural instinct to root for the underdog especially when I admire the way the Gals keep looking for talent that can help them out. I see they picked up Andre Miller and Rasheed Wallace for another whack at a win next week. Too bad they have to face the PowerHeads. Still, we’ve seen too many bottom dwelling teams over the years that don’t even try to improve, so I’m glad to see these Gals are short on quit.

The win for Clutchless means Coach Tobias is only two games out of the playoffs with plenty of time to make some hay. They can pretty much kiss their chances goodbye though, if they don’t catch the Bus next week. Go Clutch!

QFBA Rag – 2007-8 Week Fourteen

Battle For First - Sorta

It really wasn’t much of a contest between Incubus and Rednicks this week. The teams went into the week as two thirds of a three way tie for first (tie-breaker aside) and one emerged as half of a two way tie.

Incubus got the oft-injured McGrady back but thanks to D-Wade’s sub-par performance, didn’t have his best week ever. It didn’t matter much against the struggling Rednicks just as it didn’t matter much that Kaman failed to play for the AWOL Chief. Kaman would have needed 68 for the win. Kaman’s having a break out year but he’s still no Le Bron or Kobe, who could conceivably have a 68 point week.

At this point, the Chief has to count his lucky stars that he’s but a game back from the lead and still in playoff contention. With scores of 161, 154,152 and now 109, this reporter is spotting a trend: down. Something tells me the Chief is already over limit on chest-thumping and strutting – not that reality will stop him, should he ever emerge from hiding.

Cap’n Takes Jr. Behind the Woodshed

Coach Apes says we all know who would have ‘one’ had Garnett played. I knew I should have sent her to private school! Cap does admit that he’s less than thrilled with his team’s lack of consistency of late. Boozer and Davis were sub-par last week. This week it was Johnson and Gay. If the Powerhouse PD’s don’t get all five players on the same page in Week Fifteen, I can promise that the Parrotdead locker room will be a place where nobody wants to be.

Still, 178 points on an off week was enough to pull in the second highest score for Week Fourteen, proving that this win wasn’t all luck. Sorry, Kiddo, Cap needed this one to stay on top and he got it. ‘Nuff said.

‘Runners Put didi’s in Their Place

The one time of late that the ‘Runners failed to put up the weekly high score they fell to the ‘Bus. Cap’n was almost as disappointed as Coach Hayduke over that one. Coach HD wasn’t going to let that happen again in Week Fourteen so he set the high score again this week while clobbering the pitiable didi’s, 211 to 135. Poor Coach Sisti was left to scratch his head and wonder when it was that his team had ever had ballz.

Coach Sisti clings to the last playoff spot, having done a remarkable job of keeping his team in contention despite the 4th lowest average in the league. With The ‘Runners, FJ’s and Bugz all a game back, he’s going to have to elevate his game to hang on to it. I’m telling ya folks, this ‘Runners team is scary! I’m glad they’re not a game behind me!

Yao! Bugz Clobber Gals

Coach S dropped Parker to make room for a healthy Okur and SeaGals wisely wasted no time grabbing him. The storyline was set for Parker light it up against his former team but ‘twas not to be. Parker pulls up the rear for Cher with 11 and, after Ming’s numbers came in, it was all over. Ming spent most of the season being remarkably human for Coach S, but followed last week’s 52 with 57 while leading his team to victory in Week Fourteen.

With the win, Coach S moves into a three way tie, a game out of the playoffs with the win. As for Coach Cher, too bad that she didn’t play the hapless Chief this week!

Week-long Yawner Mercifully Over

I gotta say, it was tough to care who ‘one’ this one. It was a long and painful week waiting for the teams to find enough players to fill their stat sheets. It wasn’t until Sunday, when Butler finally hobbled to a 29 point performance for the Gubers that the curtain finally fell on this four on four tale of folly. To be fair, Clutch’s numbers wouldn’t have looked too bad if Redd had played and Ben Gordon finally pulling in 37 cinched for the Crutch.

As for Guber, he does have some decent players if they could just have enough fortitude to stay healthy and play every week. It will be interesting to see what Gasol will do now that he is a Laker and no longer the best player on his team. At this point, all I can say is, thank God Butler finally played to end this marathon week!