Chief Repeats as World Champion

It was quite a season with more ups and downs than the old wooden roller coaster at Lagoon. (Obscure reference for Hayduke.) We had a lengthy see-saw battle for the final playoff spot, a down to the wire struggle for the best regular season record and even a little controversy that, surprisingly, did not involve the Chief. In the end, it was the “that’s why we play em” playoff if ever there was one. The Chief quietly tiptoed into the finals and then won with a merciless mashing of ailing Coach Hayduke.

I’m not sure what surprised me most; that Rednicks came out on top this season or that they actually slid silently under the sonar the whole time, only to surface at the right time and take out the competition. And if you still doubt that it’s all about that matchup, consider that Rednicks would have lost to either team in the other bracket in both rounds of the playoff. In other words, he posted the 3rd highest score in both rounds.

Maybe it was luck, maybe it was crafty coaching. Either way, Rednicks repeat as QFBA Champions.

Congratulations, Coach Chief.

QFBA Rag – 2007-8 Playoff Round One

Can You Say Upset?

Wow. That’s all I can say after Round One. I felt all along that Incubus was ripe for an upset VS. the underrated Front Runners but I sure didn’t expect my Parrotdead boys to fall to The Chief. As I’ve said a thousand times, I guess that’s why we play ‘em.

Incubus vastly exceeded their season average by putting on 188 points but it wasn’t enough VS. the “get this one for Hayduke” FrontRunners. Led by Stoudemire’s 59, the Runners won this one for their hospitalized leader. Incubus got 47 from Bosh and another 44 from McGrady but it wasn’t enough to overcome consistent performances from everyone in addition to Stoudemire’s big game.

In the other Round One game, it didn’t look good for the Cap’n after Boozer got involved in one of the biggest blowouts in Jazz history and didn’t even get in the game in the fourth quarter. Then usual Stud Davis put up a sub-par 31 followed by a lousy 28 from Johnson and the League’s best team was in the toilet. Still, with Pierce posting 22 the Good Cap’n had some hope until Kornhole Kobe matched Stoudemire’s 59 to tie the weekly high and claim a berth in the finals for their blowhard Coach.

The finals should be and easy romp for the FrontRunners but I’ve been wrong before so I guess we’ll go ahead and play the game and see how it turns out.

QFBA Rag – 2007-8 Week Twenty Two

Regular Season Done Deal!

And what a barn-burner it was, if I do say so myself. We had it all this year: scandal, drama, tragedy and suspense. One of the great things about yellow journalism is that you can embellish a little when need be. Perhaps I do overstate just a bit sometimes but then ‘fantasy’ is the second word in the name of our league. I mean, c’mon, if the Chief can pass himself off as a George Clooney look-alike as well as a certified genius, I can certainly dramatize a bit, yes? So, here is my case for that bold statement.

Scandal:

1.) Attempted fire sale between The Commish’s kid (they’re always the worst!) and Cher.
2.) Incubus’ shameless raiding of Crutch City. I mean, are you going to tell me Tobias was dumb enough to cough up McGrady for an injured and never-did-play Arenas without some sort of under the table compensation? He can’t possible be that dumb. Hmm, he is from Texas...
3.) Coaches pressured into illicit wagers until they collapse with a heart attack from the stress.

Drama:

1.) A wild chase for the final playoff spot between as many as five teams at one point.
2.) See-saw battle for first between Incubus and Cap’n Parrotdead finally settled in the last game of the year. Cap’n blows the competition out of the water in total points yet finishes a game behind the Lucky Bus for the Regular Season title.
3.) FrontRunners post the second highest point total and second most weekly high scores yet somehow manage to finish a distant fourth with a .500 record.

Tragedy:

1.) Coach Hayduke clinches playoffs and promptly goes down with a major heart attack. Mike, we jest but we really do have you in our thoughts and wish you a speedy and successful recovery.
2.) Cap’n has the best team in league and finishes the Regular Season second.
3.) D-Will gets passed over in the All Star balloting.
4.) Okay, we’re a little light on tragedy, though I’m sure the Coaches of guys like Arenas and Ming might have a differing opinion.

Suspense:

1.) The lengthy battle for the final playoff spot, full of conjecture about who would gain advantage as the weeks wound on.
2.) Probably only Cap’n and Bus really cared, but the chase for the regular season title was pretty interesting. Chief made it look like a three-way race for a while before sinking to his appropriate level of mediocrity.
3.) Gal-watch 2008. We all anxiously awaited the SeaGals’ first win while secretly hoping it wouldn’t be against us. For the record, the Gals beat didigetagoodteam?, Dubers, FJ Cruisers, and Rednicks. They even managed to play The Cap’n to a standstill in Week Sixteen before falling in the runoff.

Playoffs, Congrats and All That

Now to the good stuff. First of all, congrats to Incubus on yet another regular season title. Accolades also go to our other playoff bound teams; Cap’n Parrotdead, Rednicks and FrontRunners. Without checking the archives, I believe this makes the first playoff in three years in the league for the FrontRunners..

The seeding in Round One looks like this:

#1 Incubus VS. #4 FrontRunners

#2 Cap’n Parrotdead VS. #3 Rednicks

I know it’s hard for you other six Coaches to care anymore but this is what it’s all about folks. We have last year’s Champ, Rednicks defending their title. Incubus is also a former QFBA Champion looking to add to their legend. Cap’n Parrotdead has been in the playoffs before but is yet to win a title and Frontrunners are taking their first crack at the playoffs.

One quick thought about our contenders: Note that all have proper pseudonyms, alter egos if you will: ‘Bus, Cap’n Parrotdead, The Chief and Hayduke. We tried to help the ‘Gals with Cher and Dubers with Goober but neither really embraced their names. The rest of you... well, all I’m saying is if you want to win, look and those who are and follow their lead. ;-)

Yee-haw!

QFBA Rag – 2007-8 Week Twenty One

Gees, I miss one QFBA Rag and the whole QFBA world goes berserk. STOP with the email, pleading for a new Rag. Here it is, back by popular demand, though we’re taking a little different approach.

The penultimate week of the 2007-08 QFBA Season is done, unless Gasol finds a miracle cure tonight, and it held all the drama that you might hope for. The first three playoff spots have been claimed for some time now, though the exact seeding has yet to be determined. The battle for fourth has been a teeter totter for quite a while but, with one week left, it is finally settled. A trail of broken hearts lie in it’s wake.

Long shots Clutch City and Jitterbugz fell out of contention last week, leaving the battle for fourth to FrontRunners, Cruisers and didi’s. With the 2nd highest average in the league, FrontRunners only had to win while the Cruisers and didi’s both needed some help because a tie with the Runners would not have favored either team.

Apparently, neither the didi’s nor the Cruisers were prepared for a big game since both dropped their must-win matchup, leaving FrontRunners to claim the final playoff spot.

We’re officially at the point of the season where interest in the QFBA drops to four coaches. C’mon, admit it, you six losers, I mean coaches, can hardly bear to think of the QFBA now that you are on the curb like yesterday’s garbage. It could be a big week for Mr. Emtee since we’ll be lucky if any of you bother to update your lineups for the final week.

Going into Week Twenty Two, all that remains to be settled in the regular season is the 1st and 2nd seeds. Rednicks and Runners are locked in third and fourth respectively while Incubus keeps the top spot warm for the Good Cap’n Parrotdead owner of the league high average and thus the tie breaker.

At this point, I’m not so sure I want to finish with the top seed since I’d rather play the mediocre Rednicks than the red-hot and 2nd highest averaging team in the FrontRunners. The regular season title is nice but it really is about the playoffs.

But wait. Bus and Runners meet in the final game of the season? Check out this scenario: Runners vault Cap’n Parrotdead into first by whipping the Bus thus earning a playoff rematch with the Cap. Now Coach Hayduke can repay Cap for the beating he got in their last meeting. That leaves the coast clear for Bus to breeze to the Championship via a first round matchup with the slouching Rednicks! You know, it wouldn’t surprise me to see Bus tank Week 22 just to work that angle.

Congrats for making the playoffs to Incubus, Cap’n Parrotdead, Rednicks and FrontRunners!

QFBA Rag – 2007-8 Week Nineteen

Cruisers Move a Game in Front

I said they’d have to do better this week to hold onto the final playoff spot and they did. FJ Cruisers defeated the Bugs 189 to 162 to move into 4th all alone. The Cruisers were led by Iverson’s 49 and Garnett’s return to form at 41.

The Bugz didn’t get top performances when they needed them. Martin had 26 on Tuesday when it counted but after three days rest, followed on Friday with 55. Hey, win some, lose some, right?

Rednicks Suck Less. Still win.

Two weeks in a row now, Rednicks have benefited from opponents empty slots. This week Clutch had two empty slots for 75 points. So much for the big playoff push. Clutch still plays the Cruisers and the Powerheads.. About all that’s left for them is to play spoiler.

Meanwhile, The Chief got good numbers across the board, led by Bryant’s 49. If Pierce and/or Kaman had cracked 30, they’d have been truly respectable. As it was, this was their best performance in 15 weeks. Hard to believe they’re 14-5 with numbers like that.

Speaking of Lucky... Again

Bus knows he’s in decline but he’s still managing to win. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that he played Cher this week. His 164 would have been a loser against any of five teams but he got the Gals this week. Adding to his woes are the rumors that Wade is going to sit for the rest of the season, as he did on Saturday. Bus has a real dilemma – should he chance starting Wade or pull the plug on him?

Something tells me that Cap’n Parrotdead will be back in first in no time.

Dubers Rise from the Ashes

Led by ex-Parrotdead Gasol’s 50, Dubers showed what they can do when they manage to field a full team. Coach J-Dub “I used to be winning the real game.” Myers says he’s in a race not to finish last. With a two game lead and three weeks to go, Gals could still spoil that plan for the Duber, especially since they still have Anthony!

As for didi’s this makes two losses in a row and leaves them a game out of the playoffs. It’s a tough climb to try and get back in, especially since all the contenders have the tie-breaker on Coach Sisti. Not looking good for the former Champs.

Parrotdead Put Crimp In ‘Runners Playoff Plans

Cap wins, 243 to 191; puts up season high for the QFBA and likely the all time high. Life is good for the Cap.

The Playoff Chase

While Dubers and SeaGals are still the only teams mathematically eliminated, it really looks like FrontRunners have the only real chance of unseating the FJ’s. Since they have the tiebreaker on didi’s, the didi’s would need to pick up two games on the Runners and three on the FJ's. Not likely but not impossible. We won’t even waste our breath with what would have to happen for the Bugz and Clutch to get in.

QFBA Rag – 2007-8 Week Eighteen

Must Have Been Psychic

So, The Commish made a small error in last week’s standings and showed the Cruisers a game behind didi’s in the race for the final playoff spot. Actually, the Cruisers had moved into a tie for the final slot and they owned the tiebreaker, meaning that if the season had ended after Week Seventeen, it would have belonged to the Cruisers. Trust me, the Jr. Cap wasted no time in making Cap Sr. aware of his error.

Ironically, after all that, they scrape together a paltry 141 point performance and drop their Week Eighteen game to the SeaGals. For the Gals, they now have what is commonly referred to as a streak! Way to go Gals. This reporter is rooting for you to add to the streak in Week Nineteen against your mentor.

Rednicks Suck. Still win.

Rednicks benefited from Ming’s sudden demise and got a Dubya despite putting up the second lowest score of the week. If the Chief had any pride, and we all know he doesn’t, he’d throw this one back. ‘Nuff said.

Speaking of Lucky...

My only theory is that ‘Bus drove to the end of the rainbow and found the proverbial pot of gold. How else can you explain how he gets undeserved win after undeserved win? Last week I pointed out that if he had played Cap’n Powerhouse every week since the start of the season he’d be 4-13. Well, now he’d be 4-14. This week he puts up a lousy 158 points and gets a Dubya against J-Dubya.

All I can say is, watch out, ‘Bus. These things tend to even out over the course of a season and you are way past due.

FrontRunners Won’t Go Away

Runners follow last weeks’ stunning win with another one this week over Clutch the Tittie. Both teams needed this win to keep their playoff hopes alive but Runners pull it off and move into a three way tie for the last playoff berth.

The Fronters have had some bad luck this season to have wound up at 9-9 considering that only Cap’n Parrotdead has set the weekly high score more often than they have. The good news for this team is that they do own the tiebreaker against the other contenders. At this point it is highly unlikely that any of the other contenders will catch the Runners in total points so all they have to do to claim the prized slot is tie for forth.

Coach Hayduke made a huge blunder this week, however, when he turned down Cap’n Parrotdead’s generous offer of Boozer and Deng for Ginobili and Wallace. Wallace’s injury turned out to be season ending and possibly even career ending, meaning Coach Hayduke could have had Boozer and Deng for a bench player. Coach Timid says he wanted to dance with the one that burng him. Have it your way, Haypuke, Cap’s just gonna have to kick yer ass next week fer that.

Pissed off Parrotheads Drop didi’s

Sometimes a Coach has to give his players a good old fashioned tongue lashing. This Powerhouse Parrotdead team should be undefeated this season considering that they have the firepower to take the weekly high score more than any other team in the league. There simply was no excuse for last week’s loss to a team they would have beaten on virtually any other night and I can tell you Cap’n Parrotdead was having no part of any excuses for the lackluster performance. Let’s just say that the Parrotdead locker room was a place no one wanted to be last week. The players responded by clobbering their hapless opponent enroute to the weekly high score yet again.

didi’s had decent performances across the board except for a 20 from usual stalwart Camby. No matter, there was little they could have done to get this one. At this point in the season, it’s hard to keep saying that there’s always next week. The didi’s drop into a three way tie for that coveted 4th spot and will need to win that slot outright if they are going to live up to the expectations of their former Championship Coach.

The Playoff Chase

It’s a pretty safe bet that the final slot will belong to one of the three teams currently tied for that spot. While only Dubers and SeaGals have been mathematically eliminated, it would take a minor miracle for Clutch City, or Jitterbugs to sneak in. Both teams would need a bizarre collapse from three or four teams while being perfect themselves. A tie isn’t likely to get either team in so they are going to have to win it outright.

Frontunners look like the favorite but the Good Cap has every intention of squashing them like a jitterbug next week, which could put a real crimp in their plans. This is why we play ‘em, folks. Ain’t this fun?

QFBA Rag – 2007-8 Week Seventeen

New Leader

The Good Cap’n has pretty much OWNED the top spot for the last several weeks but Bus finally put himself in the drivers’ seat with a 186 to 168 win over the PowerHeads. The Cap put up his lowest score in nine – count em – nine weeks. Still, with all of his players in on Tuesday and an 82 point lead, he liked his chances with two players to go for Bus. Then Bosh powered in for 52 to Wade in his wake at 48 and it was lights out for the Good Cap’n.

I know Bus has meticulously analyzed the remainder of the season and likes his chances to hold on to the lead - I know because he has said so – repeatedly. However, consider that Cap’n Parrotdead outscored Incubus in 13 out of 17 weeks. Even Bus has to admit he was lucky to catch the Cap in one of the 4 weeks this season that he could have won. I can’t wait for the “What the?” message this will inspire from ‘Bus.

Gals Get No. Two!

J-Dub AKA Coach Duber Guber told me he stopped reading the QFBA Rag after Week Three. Good, let’s slam the bastard!

The SeaGals have to feel pretty good after Chef ‘Bus Ramsey featured their team on his Food Network show “Locker Room Disasters” and put their locker room in order by helping them adjust their roster. They nearly pulled off the upset of the century last week and this week clobbered the Chief Guber Scuper.

I’ve said all along, Cher deserves a lot of credit for at least trying to get her team competitive week after week. I can’t say the same for Coach Guber, who has had the pieces to contend for a playoff spot but has brought all new meaning to the word ineptitude. He has to be the leading contender for the Mr. Emtee trophy this year for having more empty slots than anyone, perhaps in the history of the league – and that include those Turner losers who quit mid-season a couple of years ago, just because my wife called them silver-spooned nincompoops.

Well deserved win for the Gals and well deserved loss for Dubers. I’m pulling for the Gals to overtake the Dubers before the season is over. I can hear the chants now: Go Gals!! Go Gals!! We’re Number Nine! We’re Number Nine!

Blockbuster Trade Works for Clutch

Clutch told this reporter that he made the big trade with Bus recently in a last ditch effort to make the playoffs. I don’t know if it was too late for Clutch but we always like to see effort rewarded here at the QFBA (think Duber). Whether or not it’s enough in the long run, it was enough to beat another playoff contender in the didi’s.

New Clutch the Tittie player Randolph beat his opponent like it was his wife, putting up 38 for his new team. Add Carter’s 51 to that and a couple more guys in the thirties and the Incubus Farm club drops the didi’s like doo-doo, 184 to 168.

Right now Clutch is three games out of the last playoff spot and faces the hungry Frontrunners next week. As it stands, Clutch is going to need a streak and some help to make the playoffs. If they don’t get past the ‘Runners next week, I’d say it’s all over but the singing of “The Night They Drove Ol’ Dixie Down”.

As for the didi’s, they face a pissed off Cap’n next week and still must get past Incubus and the Cruisers before it’s all done for them. I have to think their hold on the last playoff spot is tenuous at best. Then again, Coach Dave has managed to hang in week after week when I thought they were overdue for a letdown. Will coaching be enough? We shall see.

Cruisers Drop Nickers

The Chief has been living on borrowed time for a while now and this week the Cruisers finally gave him the beating he’s so richly deserved for so long. I know the Cruisers were unhappy about dropping a close one to the Luser Duber last week, even though they pull up the QFBA bottom. Hey, kiddo, what did you expect? Your going to have to do better than this week’s 158 to keep moving forward.

The Chief has managed to win six of his last nine despite scores in the 150’s down to 109 and his highest score in nine weeks of 171. It can’t be clean living so it was bound to catch up. He benefits from a weak schedule the rest of the way, with the Parrotdeads being the only winning team left for the Redneck.

The win for the FJ’s keeps them within a game of the final playoff spot with Incubus still to go and a showdown with the didi’s in the final week of the season. That one just may be for all the marbles. The drama builds!

Runners Step on Bugz

Honest to God, if I hear “I can’t improve my team because my guys are all on the no-cut list.” one more time... If your players are on the no-cut list, they must have some trade value, yes? In Coach S’s defense, she does seem to have a lot of talent on paper. I’m not sure why they haven’t pulled it together enough to be better than 7-10 at this point. Let’s see; Kidd has been a disappointment, though he may like his new surroundings better now. Nowitzki has not been the same stud he’s been in years past, though again; the addition of Kidd to the Mavs may help him a bit.

Whatever, it wasn’t going to matter much this week when the revved up Runners put up the weekly high at 213. If it’s hard to understand how the Bugz wound up a 7-10, it’s impossible to understand how the Runners wound up at 8-9 at this point.

I don’t mind saying this team scares me more than anyone else in the league. After all, they’ve beaten me twice, something NO one else has managed and only two other teams have managed to do ONCE! Unfortunately, I get to face them yet again in two weeks. Aside from Cap’n Parrotdead, the only other team likely to challenge them in a run to the playoffs is Incubus in Week 22. Cap’n Parrotdead loves the scenario of Runners knocking off the Bus and handing the first seed to the Good Cap in Week 22.

Take That Duber
Those who fail to read the QFBA Rag pay a steep price. You’ll be begging to walk the Cap’s plank by the time I get done with ye! Next week, I start on yer momma...