QBFA Rag - 2008-09 Voume Four

Speakin’ of The Short Bus

This bus is definitely short: short of players. Coach Moyle is currently experiencing his personal version of hell, trying to make Mental Breakdown Boy Hayduke’s team into a winner. So far, he has led the league in personnel moves, some of which appear to be panning out, but hasn’t yet managed to pull this group of misfits together into a cohesive team. I know Coach Circumciser had high hopes going into this week and Coach Andrew ‘Don’t Call Me Andy’ K. certainly left the door wide open, posting the 2nd lowest score of the weak. What’s next for the ‘Bus? Maybe, in the spirit of fairness, one of you losers should take ‘Bus up on one of his lopsided trader offers?

Fortunately for DCMA, he was playing the lowest scoring team of the weak, proving once again the tired old QFBA adage that it’s all about the matchup. Give Coach Andrew some credit though, he’s the only one of you losers that has even tried to throw out some trash talk... something about his team averaging more than mine. HAHAHA. Good one. Kinda reminds me of the Geico commercial where the caveman plays Billy Jean King and thinks he's winning until he looks at the scoreboard. Andy gets it. He quits, but he gets it.

Injury Depleted Cap Falls to F’nU

A lousy eight points is all the Cap fell by after All Star Forward J. Smith succumbed to injury this week. In a stunning reversal of fortune, the good Cap’n traded places with the Effers by posting a better score than all but two other teams, one of which happened to be the one he was playing. Even without Smith, Cap’n Parrotdead would likely have gotten this one if stalwart Boozer hadn’t gone down in the third quarter. Like the greatest NBA team of all time, the Utah Jazz, the Zombies have really felt the injury bug early in this soon-to-be championship season.

Of course, being the gracious Pirate that I am, I must give credit to my worthy opponent, who put up the second highest weekly score on a week when he really needed to. The Ballers got 44 from Dirk ‘not dead yet’ Nowitzki and 43 from Jamison, allowing the rest of the team to cruise to the win with low-thirty showings. The good news for The Ballboys is that they can’t lose next week as they’ve drawn the weekly bye. Enjoy the golf course this week, Cal Dave. Yer walkin’ the Cap’s plank next time.

One is the Loneliest Number

It’s always tough to lose by a single point, especially when the game was so unbelievably winnable. Newcomer J. Crawford puts up the only single-digit game of the week and the BugZ still look to be headed for a win until G. Wallace joins his teammates in posting one of their worst collective games ever. And still the BugZ only fall into the “L” column by a single point. Coach S. was so distraught that she was found wandering the mean streets of Onalaska in her pajamas and pink fuzzy slippers, clutching her security blanket and muttering “Crawford wasn't even puking at the end”. Your guess is as good as mine about what that means.

As for M. Pete Dutt, I’m pretty sure he’s been hitting the bong a little too much lately and staring at flowers on the wall instead of coaching his team. Lucky for him, these guys seem to coach themselves. He has not made a single substitution or personnel move this season, not a speck of trash talk (like the rest of you losers), no indication that he has ever read the Rag or even checks his scores, and currently sits at .500. You can’t get much more ho-hum middle of the road than that.

Bruisers Crush the Clutch

On a week when the Bruisers have Redd and Richardson sitting on the bench with injuries, they still manage to clobber their opponent and put up the weekly high score – again. Increasingly it’s looking like the QFBA this year consists of the Bruisers and everyone else. Of course, when the Parrotheads have everyone healthy, that may be another story but for now, the Bruisers look unstoppable. Much as the Cap likes to think that the Bruisers new-found power is a result of good DNA and the Cap’s tutelage, something tells me B.A. had a hand in this year’s draft.

As for Coach Tobias, HEY, WAKE UP!! Oh, and thanks for taking injury prone McGrady off my hands.